As a tall man who likes to walk at night, I have long understood that women alone at night do not wish to encounter me. So when I happen to find myself following a woman down the street, I will either slow down, cross the street, or stop and look at a sign or something for a minute to give her some space.
In a dangerous and shitty world, a person has to find subtle and quiet ways to express care, compassion, and solidarity. It costs me nothing to make a woman feel safer.
I have similar experiences. I am 6’9" and weight 290lbs. I also have daughters, so I try my best to not be intimidating. Doesn’t always work, but at least I can say I try.
While working i am occasionally in parking garages which can be dark and creepy. If i see a woman walking alone I’ll try to make some noise like pulling out my keys. People with bad intentions will be stealthy, hopefully they get that I’m not a threat
When in an elevator, I like to put people at ease by letting out a long reassuring fart to prove that I’m not hiding anything up my ass
This is the way, and good for you.
Purposefully making women afraid they’re about to get assaulted is abhorrent.
SIMP!!!
He’s not a “Sucker Idolizing Mediocre Pussy”
He’s a man making sure women feel a little safer.
Using the word “SIMP” in this context runs counter to every example of protective familymen I’ve ever seen. Derision against his behavior is as good as calling yourself a creep, a predator, an enemy of all that is good and right.
You have the morals of an opportunistic thug … yet I have no doubt you think yourself some kind of faithful man
Simp is also just short for “simpleton”
That’s not how simp is used in this context, you intentionally obtuse pedanic British cigarette.
So everyone here is saying fuck anon and I agree, but I agree because they are aware of it and intentionally doing things on purpose to exacerbate the situation.
But like, if you’re a physically larger dude (maybe even cursed with a hint of melanin), and you’ve got to walk behind a woman at 2am… it’s just a shitty situation for both people, where both of you feel like you have to do something you shouldn’t have to do (women feeling the need to run, defend themselves, or cry for help, and men feeling the need to change their route, stand around and wait until she leaves, or do something awkward and potentially more scary like announce their presence).
I’m definitely not advocating for women to be less cautious on the streets at night or anything like that at all, it’s an unfortunate reality that they need to stay vigilant and aware to remain safe. It just really sucks that the way it comes across a lot of the time does little to protect anyone from any actual harm, and just makes normal people feel like shit for making someone feel like they’re about to get raped.
Just yell to her you’re not going to rape her. Problem solved.
Anon is a piece of shit even if this is just fantasy
Sometimes prophecies are self fullfilling, treat a man like the worst example of the gender he represents, through no fault of his own and you might find he behaves less than appropriately.
I’m not saying that excuses the behaviour, but if women looked at me and immediately thought “potential rapist/murderer” I can’t say that wouldn’t upset me and possibly cause me to act less than amicably.
I mean what the fuck am I supposed to do? Somehow talk the worst male scum out of their depraved behaviour, or somehow try to convince all women that “I’m one of the good ones”? That’s never going to happen no matter how hard I try.
We all need to be realistic and keep things in perspective. It’s not OK to treat people as the worst of the people they identify with, it’s no better than the “all Muslims are terrorists” mentality.
My gf does this constantly. She is afraid of every man on the street. If there is a homeless or god forbid mentally ill person on her path she’s basically terrified.
Yes, she does listen to true crime podcasts. Yes, we live in a relatively safe part of a relatively safe country.
The problem with listening to things like that is that they are self-selecting for the absolute worst things that have ever happened. It’s not like they go on today’s podcast nothing really happened so we’re going to talk about a case of minor vandalism instead.
Nah they will dig back to the 1960s in order to find something to talk about. Seriously look up how many podcasts are still going on about Jack The Ripper despite the fact it was about 150 years ago.
Being scared isn’t really something you can control. So I think what matters is whether that affects how she treats men.
As someone who also is quite scared of strangers when no one is around, I mostly just avoid that situation to begin with. If that’s not possible or it’s just too severe, it’s definitely something where looking into professional help could help her, if it’s available. Though not listening to true crime podcasts would probably be a good start…
Go ahead and aks her if she has ever been harrased or sexually coerced in her life. At what age and what happend. And then ask her if she has friends who have. Or how often she didn’t think it was socially acceptable to say “no” or “fuck off”.
This is not something just in our heads. We don’t just freak out about nothing. Especially in a world were young white men are increasingly frustrated about the way the world “treats” them.
I have had enough guys try to follow me home or just obnoxiously trying to “be nice” while ignoring all the " I don’t want to talk right nows" and “i don’t need you to escort me home, reallys”, thank you very much.
Its not about the danger of beeing raped or killed. Its about the fact that its uncomfortable enough as is even if nothing objectively bad happens.
Yeah obviously but it is no justification. I definitely understand how material conditions can influence behavior
Or you could just realize that it’s not personal and give signals that you’re friendly when possible. I’m a man, and I walk around my neighborhood a lot by myself. I get different reactions from different women when I pass by or walk behind them, some amicable and some standoffish.
It feels a bit bad when I get the impression that someone is scared of me, but I have the understanding to know that many women are cautious and possibly traumatized, and no one owes me friendliness.
Also, your comparison to Muslims is really off. Most people with prejudice against Muslims are rarely (if ever) exposed to them in real life and have their opinions influenced by conservative media. Women with fear of men in public spaces are usually informed by stories from their friends and their own previous experiences. I’ve witnessed enough to know as much.
It’s all shits and giggles until anon ends up in a ‘man vs bear spray’ scenario
That’s called assault and it is a crime.
They had legitimate reason to believe they were in danger.
Not assault at all.Unlikely to be assault.Edit: Guess I shouldn’t say “definitely not assault”. Don’t have all the information here, so can’t come to any definitive conclusions.
Legitimate reason as in “a man is in the range of visibility”?
