genuine c/programmerhumor

Spoken like a true normie 👍

Anti Commercial-AI license

Hmm, is this a new take on the “Stop Doing Math” meme?

@ElCanut geee, I wonder how did they make Microsoft Access.

It’s like if farmers were just letting plants do all the work, instead of manually assembling the potatoes themselves

The job of a programmer is to reintroduce a bug that was fixed in the last patch.

Hello World — By different types of programmers

High School / Junior High

10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD"
20 END

First Year in College

program Hello(input, output)
 begin
    writeln('Hello World')
 end.

Senior Year in College

(defun hello
 (print
  (cons 'Hello (list 'World))))

New professional

#include
void main(void)
 {
  char *message[] = {"Hello ", "World"};
   int i;

   for(i = 0; i < 2; ++i)
     printf("%s", message[i]);
   printf("\n");
}

Seasoned professional

#include 
#include  
 class string
{
 private:
  int size;
   char *ptr;
 public:
   string() : size(0), ptr(new char('\0')) {}
   string(const string &s) : size(s.size)
  {
   ptr = new char[size + 1];
   strcpy(ptr, s.ptr);
   }
   ~string()
  {
   delete [] ptr;
   }
   friend ostream &operator  <<(ostream &, const string &);
   string &operator=(const char *);
  };
 ostream &operator <<(ostream &stream, const string &s)
 {
   return(stream  << s.ptr);
 }
 string &string::operator=(const char *chrs)
 {
  if (this != &chrs)
   {
    delete [] ptr;
  size = strlen(chrs);
  ptr = new char[size + 1];
     strcpy(ptr, chrs);
  }
   return(*this);
}
 int main()
 {
   string str;
   str = "Hello World";
   cout  << str  << endl;
   return(0);
 }

Apprentice Hacker

#!/usr/local/bin/perl
$msg="Hello, world.\n";
if ($#ARGV >= 0) {
  while(defined($arg=shift(@ARGV))) {
    $outfilename = $arg;
    open(FILE, ">" . $outfilename) || die "Can't write $arg: $!\n";
    print (FILE $msg);
    close(FILE) || die "Can't close $arg: $!\n";
  }
} 
else {
 print ($msg);
}
1;

Experienced Hacker

#include 
#define S "Hello, World\n"
main(){exit(printf(S) == strlen(S) ? 0 : 1);}

Seasoned Hacker

% cc -o a.out ~/src/misc/hw/hw.c
% a.out

Guru Hacker

% cat
Hello, world.
^D

Sometimes it feels like most of my job nowadays is deleting code now.

“She”. The gag of SwiftOnSecurity is it’s Taylor Swift, posting infosec. Tho these days she mostly trolls like this.

Why don’t they program using spreadsheets? Are they stupid?

Framing libraries as cheat sheets is hilarious

I love SwiftOnSecurity.

The biggest scam about programmers is they barely program

He’s got a point, though, the further you go, the less time you spend inputting code. Although some people prefer to continue going head first and then remaking everything.

It’s like the joke about the invoice charging 0.10$ for a screw and 100$ for knowing which screw to replace.

Coding is easy. Software engineering not so much.

Me: Spends 4 hours making a pause menu… “I wish this was true… This man has not met the hell of a 50 state, 100 elif statement…”

Amateur Coders code: " We don’t do this because its easy, we do this because we thought it would be easy"