It’s not about it working. It’s about creating a narrative in their own head where they are the victim even if it’s a complete fabrication. Then they can pin all their recent troubles on something that isn’t their fault. “That asshole gave me a thumbs up, then went back on it! I needed that thing for success, and he’s the reason that didn’t happen.”

If anyone gives you a dirty look for saying it, immediately apologize and correct the pronunciation to "vank"panzer.

I mean… you can buy your own.

I can perform the heimlich maneuver. First I’ll need 20 sqft of corrugated cardboard, a hot glue gun, some wooden dowels…