Oh he knows… and he likes it

Would you still love me if I was a mole?

I have never seen one and I am very jealous :(

Y’know those greenscreen suits? The government pays people to go around in those and shove things. That’s why all the plants are green, it’s so they can greenscreen the shovers out!

Diagnosis: cat

Confidence: 80%

You can’t tell me what to do! I was told that I do not need to do what other people say I need to do! Which I guess means that I do need to do what other people say that I need to do! But then that means that I do not need to do what other people say I need to do! Do do people need I do need people tell do me need!

Some say that the universe only exists insofar as it is perceived. This is true, but we are not the observers. All of the world is a grand eye and that eye is spread across itself again and again. We are all but figments in the eye of the world, floaters thinking themselves eyes and seeing nothing. This is all to say that the elf on the shelf is REAL and this image PROVES IT!

Inspirational! I have an orchid that I purchased at a discount because of its damaged root system. I’ve been caring for it for a few months and it doesn’t seem to be dying so I assume it’s happy. Not as happy as yours though!

Objection: feels like copeposting