Here’s a few rumors I heard about camel spiders while deployed to Iraq from '05 - '06:

They can run up to 25 mph

They can grow to the size of house cats

They aren’t actually spiders or scorpions, they’re their own weird type of insect, which leads some people to believe they’re aliens

When they bite you, they inject you with a poison that numbs the bitten area, so you can’t even tell you got bit

They will climb into your bunk at night and clip your hair with their jaws to line their nests

If you see a camel spider, don’t shoot it because you’re more likely to accidentally shoot your foot than the spider

I have wicked hangovers with anything malted (malted beers, hard seltzer, etc). Just one can will give me a headache the next day. Pay attention to which beers or other drinks you’re consuming, or are you saying that ALL BEER of any kind puts you over the edge? And like someone else said, you need to define your symptoms.

I have a bad case of Resting Bitch Face and I got fired from my barista job at Starbucks for not smiling enough and because I apparently “always looked like I wasn’t enjoying myself” while at work.

My “default” settings face just looks serious, sorry, I can’t help it.