Shh. Only dreams now.

Day late. Was totally wiped yesterday and took a down day with the girl on the couch.

… When people, who have unalterable traits, tell you that they do not appreciate being stereotyped, having certain words used to describe them or people like them, or erroneously lumped in as the same as them, in certain contexts and ways… the decent thing to do is just listen to them and not demand an explanation why they find such things offensive.

I wouldn’t quite say I’m demanding an explanation. I would hope you see it as having a discussion with a typical who is genuinely trying to understand and is willing to modify behaviors if they are problematic. I was raised in profound ignorance by religious fundamentalists in the deep south. Sprinkle in racism and pretty much all the other “isms”. I’ve worked very hard to make my way out that ignorance. Asking lots of questions has served me well. I feel like that open questioning and willingness to try and learn is part of the reason I tend to get along so well with people on the spectrum as well as making my way out.

I also have a whole heap of monkey curiosity. Figure it’s a good thing. Want to know and learn about other’s cultures, experiences, and mental states. In no way am I trying to be aversive in this conversation, you just seemed to be willing to talk and I’m satisfying that curiosity. I like different people. Please don’t feel like I’m demanding your time or attention. If you need to tell me to fuck off, that’s cool, won’t hurt my feelings. If you need to space out your responses, I don’t need an immediate reply, take as long as you want.

I do not mean to be offensive, but you describe neurodiverse people in a… typical way that a genuinely well intentioned neurotypical person who has actually gone out of their way to learn about and personally knows neurodiverse people would.

Yup. Glad you see it that way. My wife and I are heavily involved in the BDSM community and are poly. I don’t know what it is, but you can’t throw a stick without hitting a neurodiverse person within our subculture. Neurodiverse individuals are far more common than in the general population. At a guess, 25%; certainly greater than 10% but less than half. It is common for neurodiverse folks to be in positions of leadership or longstanding respected members of the community. Another commonality among neurodiverse folks that I’ve noticed is that they are far more likely to be bi or some sort of trans.

… I am apparently quite an oddity in that I am a high functioning autistic person. I don’t like to use the term ‘savant’ because it connotes that I am some kind of super genius. I’m not a super genius.

I’ve actually known quite a few high functioning autistic people. Wife is some sort of neurodiverse, our former partner was high functioning autistic. Anyhow, savant or savant-like behaviors. Yeah, it’s not a great term. But, you know what I mean. It’s totally a thing. As a typical, I’m unable to make those leaps and do find it endlessly fascinating. Y’all’s brains are working on a different wavelength, and aren’t even on the same wavelength as each other. In this instance, we are looking at someone who is sorting pseudo random text into genetic code and then finding a genetic match. That’s a wonderfully weird thing to do. My questions about ‘Why’ would they do that are rhetorical. Those behaviors, even as a hobby, would never occur to me in a million years.

I suppose that’s what I’m really trying to ask. You’ll see the term ‘autist’ used as an explanation, ‘neuro’ in this case. You, and other autistic people, can find this offensive, and rightfully so. Is there an inoffensive term for these behaviors?

In private playful conversations with my wife, it’s not uncommon for me to call her a “fucking autist” or call her actions ‘autistic.’ This might also occur among close friends. It’s absolutely a slur. I would never, ever, do so publicly. Note that she calls me ‘old man’, calls me ‘bald’ or makes fun of my baldness, makes fun of my ileostomy, makes fun of my accent and so on. We use slurs, in play, for each other all the time. Publicly, it’s very common that I’m the butt of the group jokes because it’s obvious that it doesn’t bother me and I’m an easy and willing target for that sort of humor. (Average height/weight cis-het appearing, bald, white guy with a great beard/moustache and a southern accent.) I have a gruff demeanor so it’s a lot of fun for people to poke at me, especially neurodiverse folks, as they know that I’m a safe target by example from my wife and friends. (Think Jaimie from Mythbusters.)

That’s a whole other thing that happens to me with the neurodiverse. The pure fucking joy they get from playfully picking on me is something else. It’s apparently quite a thrill. Very timid about calling me bald, old, or whatever at first. My wife or friends are usually the ringleaders. I guess it feels subversive or something? I just growl, grumble or frown back with the very timid.

My wife and I have a lot of back-and-forth with this sort of thing. Our relationship is very kinky and this is how we flirt. She initiates by picking on me, gets in ‘trouble’, I put her in her place or give her a swat and a kiss. I initiate by picking on her or giving her a swat, she pouts about how I don’t love her or how mean I am, and I kiss her better. She wants that tingle of fear and then the comfort. Note, we’ve never had a real raised voice argument. We communicate very well. Real relationship issues are handled in an adult manner through discussion including cooling off, if needed. This is our relationship and communication style, it has grown organically between us and isn’t a one-size-fits-all.

With the other neurodiverse folks I’ve been close to, including our former autistic partner, I’ve basically found that we create almost our own dialect between us. I feel like, as a typical, that I have some gifts in being able to communicate and modify my communication style to theirs. I enjoy it and don’t mind stretching myself to their preferred communication style and level of comfort.

… People just enjoy doing things. Sure, some are more niche and rare than others… but why is there even a question as to why someone has some specific hobby as opposed to another?

… Why does an uncommon hobby warrant explanation?

… How can there be an explanation beyond ‘I find it entertaining or fulfilling or enjoyable?’

So, there are hurtful slurs that describe a common behavior among neurodiverse folks. When trying to be inoffensive, I’ve called it savant or savant-like behavior. It’s the sort of behavior that a typical would almost certainly never engage in. As a typical, when it’s pointed out that the person that engages in the behavior is neurodiverse, it’s an ‘aha’ moment often mixed with humor. It would be nice if it had an inoffensive label.

Just a brief note. Today and this evening are going to be very busy for me. I don’t have time to give your post the response it deserves and will do so later. Probably tomorrow.

I guess I see where you’re coming from. Labels can hit different, especially when the label doesn’t fit all the recipients. Being labeled can cause offense. Especially if it’s derogatory. I don’t think it was meant to be derogatory by op, but it certainly wasn’t very sensitive.

The difficult part is that it’s a spectrum. Especially when it comes to level of function. Profound autism is a totally different animal from high functioning people. And there is a whole spectrum of differences in how the divergency manifests between individuals.

Savantism and savant-like actions are fascinating to a lot of typicals, myself included. That level of focus and ability to make the connections or internally churn the information is not an accessible state for most of us. It’s like seeing real magic.

(Obviously, not all neurodivergent folks have savant-like behaviors, most likely just a minority. No idea of the prevalence.)

So, a neurodivergent person inputting letters scraped from Tumblr posts into a genome search engine is funny as hell because it’s such a strange thing to do and produces an interesting result. Why would someone do that? Why would you even think to do it in the first place?

My wife does absolutely hilarious shit all the time. Our house is full of laughter. She’s wickedly sarcastic and full of black humor.

So, given that I think some of the behaviors are awesome while being hysterically funny, what is an inoffensive way to engage in humor about neurodivergent folks, in your opinion? Are there any preferred terms that are shorthand for: “Autistic person pulled some fucked up logic trick or other stunt”?

Ehh. IDK if that would be bad or good for Linux. More choices against the possibility of weaker teams/poorer code. Even if things did fragment for a while, one version likely comes out on top and everyone migrates slowly back together.

Interwebs and tech seems to route around this sort of thing.

No clue how all this shakes out. Not real invested in this ideological/bureaucratic slap fight.

It’s always entertaining when Linus flames off.

I thought it was funny. I’m a typical. Have had several relationships with neurodivergent people, including my wife.

I do find a lot of the quirks funny or cute. Was just giving my girl shit about the Princess and the Pea because she is extremely particular about her pillow situation. The pillows and stuffies have names. That shit is funny and it makes me grin when I have to help sort the pile.

Why do you find it offensive?

Ooo. Worms is on the Switch! My son doesn’t play with it and I mostly use it as the Tetris machine.

I’m going to have to get this and do some serious shit talking. One of the best multiplayer couch games ever.

Holy shit! That’s how I do it. Caught so much crap for it when I was a kid.

I’ve used my Kyocera Brigadier as a hammer on wood and plastics before.

It also really upsets people when I rap it on a table or throw it at the wall to show how tough it is.

Had it for five years, maybe a little more. Battery is getting weak. Needs a factory reset. Storage is 96% used. Keeps on working, it fits in my pocket, no case required.

Real time operating systems are important for CNC machines and other industrial controls. Been a while since I kept up with Linux CNC and the open source control world, but I think this may have big implications for motion controls including printers.

This is why the big name CNC controls are mostly proprietary OS like FANUC, HAAS, Siemens, Mazak. Lot of them have Mitsubishi down in the guts. Heidenhain has Linux, at least in the top layer, iirc. Citizen had windows in the top layer.

For a large chunk of my career, I worked in aerospace and ‘defense’ machining. Made all kinds parts for all kinds of weapons, it was really cool! Murica! As I got older, I lost my religion, I lost the far right brainwashing I was raised with.

My hands were making weapons that the US government was often selling to other countries. My hands were making weapons to kill various groups of brown people all over the world. It really began to bother me.

I no longer make things to kill people.

Yes, you are culpable for the effects of what you produce in your profession. A thinking person should consider the effects of their work.

The woman in that picture has some very minor canines.

The cat has some big ones.

Walking out of a unsuccessful deer hunt, I had an encounter with a mountain lion. Hissed and growled it away. Like totally a peak life experience. It was thinking about eating me and I convinced it otherwise. Did pull my pocket gun in fear.

😛

I’m currently working outside my old home, preparing it for sell. Taking a break right now.

A little old lady just stopped to grab things I’m sitting by the road for picking. She has a daughter and grandkids that are running from abuse. They’ll be getting a bunk bed and dressers from us. She likes pigs, we have pet pigs. I’m sitting aside some pig figurines that my girl left behind. One is a birdhouse that is full of piss ants, an invasive species. I poisned the fuck out them because they need to die. They’re varmints.

I have a rat problem I’m dealing with due to the cat moving and a bag of feed being left behind. I’m using poison, traps, and a gun to kill the varmints.

I’m not going to take the time to watch whatever videos you’re suggesting. Eating meat isn’t rape. That is a stupid argument you shouldn’t use. It is killing. I’m comfortable with killing.

I’m likely way more in tune with nature, animals, and trying to minimize my impact on the earth than you ever will be. Some of your ideology is poisonous and you are sick from it.

Humans have canines and binocular vision because we are omnivores. Meat and killing can be ethical, it’s just difficult.

Wow, like you’re pretty warped. Here we are with the rape stuff again. Raping children, no less.

You need to do some thinking. That line of argument isn’t effective.

You’re claiming this crazy shit and the above person and myself are actively working minimize the suffering of animals.

Go touch grass and pet a dog.

You might be right. When I was young; didn’t meet vegans until I experienced big cities.

Damn skippy. I’ve learned I’m an atheist with a pagan heart.

I’ve found that I must be hunting something when I go in the woods or on the water. Animal, vegetable, or something else. Don’t care if I actually kill, catch, or find; there just has to be a goal. I love taking other people and helping them get in tune with the world.

This sounds like excellent advice. I don’t even have a small tractor yet. Before steers, I’m going to have to string new fence. Next spring, if I’m lucky and have worked real hard, I’ll be getting a bottle calve or two.

Did find a cinder block shed with a good roof that wasn’t even listed. Has a loading ramp for a pickup. I’m real tempted to just outsource it.

Have a hernia and don’t know if I can do it.

Do have a root cellar that will be perfect for hanging.

I can confidently say that I have never raped an animal.

My housecat engages in a lot of torture, but she’s a damned good mouser. I put a stop to the torture when I catch it. I don’t allow my cats outside because they’re so bad on native wildlife, especially ground nesting birds. Cats are obligate predators. I kill cats if I find them in the woods as they are now varmints.

I’m an omnivore, and am at peace with that. I strive to kill in a manner that I find ethical. I kill critters to eat them, varmints to restore balance. I’ll eat the varmints if I can.

I live in the real world.