Honestly you’re better off dumping the ivy. They’re not fantastic houseplants as they are very prone to insect infestation and seem to attract spider mites, particularly in winter.

Giggity.

That I’d do for free.

I like the energy.

In my head I know you’re right but my heart wants this.

Everyone has a share!

Ah, a fellow degenerate!

Good. Fuck 'em. They wanted this, now they get to suffer for it.

This seems like a solution without a problem.

Unless you buy your grow lights from the tanning bed store it’s highly unlikely that they’re supplying the wavelength and energy required to cause cellular damage. In any case, a lot of fancy grow lights are just hokum. Take the money you’d spend on an expensive grow light and spend it on a bunch of decent full spectrum LED bulbs. More light is going to be better than perfect light unless in an industrial application where vegetative production is carefully sheparded to produce bigger crop yields.

That does make more sense.

The fuck is it with these guys? They think that eating shitty food on a private jet that costs $60 million and is $20,000 an hour to operate makes them relatable? But then recent events say it’s effective.

Get a magnifier, look on the underside of the leaves for very small cigar shaped insects. If you see any, they are thrips and you are in for a headache. Get a bottle of Captain Jacks Dead Bug Brew or a spray with spinosad. Spray the affected plant and any other nearby or other soft leaved plants once a week for 6 weeks. That’s what it takes to get the adults as well as the larvae that hatch out from eggs in the leaves. Thrips fly so treat as many plants as is practical. For larger collections you can release beneficial mites which eat thrips.

I hope it’s not thrips.

Sundew are pretty robust. If it’s super dry they’ll produce less snot but given lots of light and distilled water they’ll eat lots of gnats. Enjoy the Hoya, let that guy dry out a bit between waterings.