Look, all you have to do is memorize a couple thousand pages of reagents and their products. It’s easy, bro. Don’t even think about all the pressure/temperature/volume/math-like-Le-Chatelier’s-Principle stuff, that’s physics, bro.

Do we get to use the 'ole stick trick, mistah?

Frankly, we should move on from the mitochondria and start talking about the immune system. I want pre-schoolers to know about the interleukins, goddamnit! Let the children in first grade recite a list of adjuvants! And somebody shootshoo away vaccine deniers!

'Tis a house of power, milord.

I get it, but the joke was right there and I had to take the swing.

Why would smashing the glass require two people?

Aye, this is the exact problem that early sunglasses that didn’t block UV light had. Wear ones that offer UV protection! https://www.aao.org/eye-health/tips-prevention/sun https://www.aao.org/newsroom/news-releases/detail/seven-myths-about-sunglasses-could-damage-vision

That was my first thought. My second was that somehow people became interested in the unique behavior of slime molds.

No, no, it’s queerbating. She’s obviously going to open up to hawk girl on the view about what she flicks the bean towards, and then market the ‘slime’ to all the insane people…

and the video promoting it prominently displays her wrists with snapbacks on them.

I think I hate myself for this mental image.

Just wait until you find out how we studied the Coolidge effect…