ArtieShaw

Perfection.

Not cool, man. Not cool.

That’s just what the cat is saying. I’m happy to see this bunny here.

I love this.

he puked on the stairs and went back to hiding

Classic.

Congratulations on finding a good one!

To be fair, he makes an excellent plant.

I’ve also heard that cats try to mimic birds. It’s one of the theories behind that weird clacking noise they make when they see prey that’s out of reach.

My God, that shirt.

It’s a relief to know that its just an inhuman machine entity basic bitch representation of a shirt your gran might enjoy wearing.

That’s a hell of a fight face.

Hoping that they don’t learn about “inside the box spring.” That’s where the real 3am magic (aka cat fights) happen.

In addition to getting onto the top of the fridge, mine learned to get into kitchen cabinets. I’d come downstairs in the morning and find her just casually oozing out of the cabinet we keep cups and plates in. “my butt was maybe on all your stuff just now. oh hai. got catfood?”

I love them. Some still have secret hiding spots in our house.

I had one who could jump to the top of the fridge from a dead standstill. (About 6 feet [2m] vertical). First time I saw her up there I assumed she used the counter as an intermediate step. Nope. It was like she just turned off gravity for a moment.

When we found her she was a kitten who had gotten trapped in our garage. Half feral and scared. I swear she was doing 9 foot parkour jumps along the walls when she saw us.

She’s 14 now so she’s slowed down a bit, but she has no issues with a human-chest-high jump.

Cats are neat.

Mine still thinks he fits into a shoe.

Kittenhood was a good time. He could crawl into a sneaker, curl up, and enjoy 360 degrees of pure human foot stink. Now he can only fit his head inside, which is a bit of a tragedy but he still gets to enjoy the odor.

You need to install one or more cat containment units. Our favorites are the 9x11 inch, soft grey boxes with 4 inch flexible sides. (Cardboard boxes also work, but my managers prefer the soft and flexible feel of the store bought merch).

The delicate cat diplomatic situation in my office meant that I could only use two traps at once, but it looks like you could manage three without any additional treat-ies in place.

They fit, they sit, and they quickly fall asleep. No more keyboard interference. No more reminders that it’s only 3 hours until feeding time. No more worrying about whether you need to report them to HR when they demand you “touch my butt now.”